From Charles Borjas
As a former member of The Family International, I am writing this in response to the Montel Williams Show which was recently
aired on TV in the U.S.
I joined The Family International when it was The Children of God in 1970. I was brought up as a Catholic and already had
a love of God and His Holy Word, and a desire to serve Him as a missionary someday, from the time I was 13 years old.
I saw The Children of God as a means that would enable me to fulfill my chosen vocation to serve God in another country. What
I wanted was training in the Word and missionary life, and I got it without having to go through years and years of Bible
school but by attending the classes and on the job training of witnessing to others the love of God, very similar to programs
that many other youth groups such as Youth With A MISSION (YWAM) Teen Challenge and many other youth groups of many Christian
Churches are doing today.
I spent 35 years with The Children of God/ Family of Love/ The Family/ and now called The Family International and left the
group membership 2 years ago in retirement so I can pursue my spiritual life further, do some writing, studying and continue
my missionary work independently.
5 of my children are still missionaries with the group today. None of my children have ever been abused in any way in the
Family to my knowledge, a statement I would stake my life upon.
I really do sympathize with Davida, for the life she now has to lead, through her own choice, but I disagree with her that
her chosen type of employment was all she had to fall back on, and that her childhood and up-bringing caused her or forced
her to have to do what she does for a living.
She expressed with her own words that she likes it and enjoys it, so how can someone say that they were driven to do something
because of their abusive childhood, and then turn around and say they really enjoy doing it? Sounds like quite a contradiction
if you ask me.
The other girl, Amy, I knew her in Japan and was one of the teen overseers when the teen program was in it’s early beginnings,
before the talk about victor camps came out.
Since I had been a missionary in Japan, most of my work was done out on pioneer fields wining and training new members in
the basics of the Bible in what you might call “babes training”. Since that was one of my specialties, I had been
asked to come there to help teach the teens that were there in some Bible basics, which included classes from the Bible on
basic Christian beliefs.
One of my strong points was always the Bible, and I to this day could not live without its life giving Words spoken by Jesus
Christ Himself and other men who were inspired and moved by the Holy Ghost.
During the few months I was there, I never saw any of the teens being mistreated or abused or forced to do anything they didn’t
want to do. All of the teens who were there had decided to come of their own free will, including Amy, who was 15 years old
at the time. She, as well as the others, willingly and enthusiastically participated in all of the special activities and
duties inside the school without complaint. Every effort and care was given to ensure that the teens there were well cared
for, and personal attention was given to each one to counsel them and help them through any personal problems they might have
been going through.
Also at this same school was Daniel Roselle, when he was about the age of 13 or 14. I remember him being a quiet, calm and
very polite and respectful boy and pleasant to be around. Since I was only there about three months, and there were many teens
there it was difficult to get to know each and everyone personally, but I did get to talk to just about all of them. There
were those teens there that I also knew prior to meeting them there. Some of them I knew from birth and also knew their parents
pretty well too.
It amazed me a shocked me too how some young people can change when they get older.
For example Daniel, who was so polite and respectful before, has a lot of bitterness now regarding things he said happened
to him when he was 7 years old. And Amy, who was one of the teen leaders there and had a high profile and pleasant personality,
is now a traumatized young woman.
One thing is certainly clear to me is that Montel Williams was given inaccurate information that was many years out of date,
and yet he spoke as if these things just happened yesterday, and their testimony gave the impression that David Berg was still
alive and carrying on all that Davida and Amy said he did on a daily basis, and also that this is the normal routine all of
the Family International homes follow.
When you have heard both sides of the story, you see that what you view and hear on TV is designed to be a sensational attraction
to draw viewers to that particular show, each show competing for the number one spot.
It can be the same in religion too. You have these so called faith healers get on TV and “slay” people in the
“Spirit” and perform so called healings that cannot ever be verified, then turn around and sincerely ask for your
This type of showmanship is common and necessary in order to attract people to their crusades, and it is the same with TV
show psychologists, who also have to be showmen and be able to attract people to watch their show in order to stay in the
top ratings. That is what show business is all about; competition, not helping people.
That is why they make promises, and have such emotional reactions that give the appearance of sympathizing with their guests.
In such an atmosphere of acting, “make believe” and gimmickry designed to draw out the emotions of the audience
and public, it is impossible to see the situation, as it really is since it appears to be so one-sided.
That is why I feel it IS important to get both sides of the story in order to get the true picture and proper balance of what
is happening, and put things in their proper perspective.
I know the tactics psychologists use in their treatment of so-called posttraumatic syndrome. It is through the power of suggestion
and even in some cases using hypnosis to cause their patients to “remember” the so called details of their traumatic
experience and get them to relive it in their minds. This, in my opinion, causes even more psychological damage to their mind
and emotions and they end up in worse shape, needing years of therapy afterwards, possibly never coming out of the vortex
they have created for themselves.
This process shows clearly that the so called victim’s real purpose is not to get help for their problem, but their
real motive is, in bitterness, to hurt the so called perpetrators and instigators of what the trauma they claim to have experienced.
In their weakened mental state they would be very susceptible to become victims of even more abuse by outer forces using them
to further their own agenda. When they are finished being used they are then sadly lopped aside and left to themselves to
then deal with their own worsened state of mind.
If such an inconceivable magnitude of trauma and abuse was truly suffered by someone, and they are sincerely making an effort
to get the inner healing they require, I believe that the first and foremost step would be to do as Jesus Christ commands
us. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”
Of course psychologists and therapists would never agree that Jesus is the answer.
However, If that first step is not taken, inner healing cannot take place. This cannot only lead to emotional instability,
but also physical diseases.
Only God and His love can give inner healing to the heart, and only The Word of God can renew the mind. So there needs to
be not only forgiveness of the person, which does not mean condoning the deed done, but looking at it in the sense of the
person who committed the hurting act as also being a victim of an outside or spiritual force, natural emotion, physical tendencies,
or circumstances of which we all know can be a result of living in an un-renewed world, with an un-renewed mind.
Then it is easier to forgive the person without condoning the act. At least that gets us off the hook with God, and the inner
healing can take place as our relationship with God is healing with this first step.
Other wise one can go through the rest of his or her life still under the control of the trauma they have decided to entertain
in their minds for years, in bitterness and unforgiveness. That alone sadly can and has destroyed many a life.
So, I firmly believe, contrary to what professional doctors and psychologists and therapists say, that the answer to inner
healing, if one so desires, is to correct their relationship with God, and believe that He loves them unconditionally no matter
what they are thinking they went through.
Then, there has to be a total renewing of the mind and thinking process which only can be done effectively and permanently
by reading, studying and meditating on the Word of God, the Bible.
One can only be depressed and traumatized as long as he or she is making the choice to think about the things that depress
them. It is common sense that if you keep thinking about what you have suffered, or bad things that have happened to you,
those things will become your master and control your thoughts. It will be impossible to ever be happy as long as you are
thinking unhappy thoughts.
The thing that drove Ricky to do what he did was not his upbringing. It was the way he chose to view his upbringing and other
events he described vividly according to the thoughts he himself chose to entertain. These thoughts obsessed him day and night
until he had no power over them. He accepted them, agreed with them, and then they had power over his life. To those who believe
in the spirit world, we know these types of thoughts come from Satan and not God. IN God’s Word it says that Satan’s
only purpose is to steal and to destroy. (John 10) So naturally, his goal is to get us to think thoughts of destruction, of
others and self. That is the ultimate place where bitterness leads.
Jesus said “if ye abide in Me and My Words abide in you ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you”
If we love His Words, we will read them, absorb them, meditate on them and they will bring to us life, not destruction!
Then we can ask the Lord to deliver us from depressing thoughts, and He will do it, because He is the King! He is the King
and we are the subjects and citizens of His kingdom! The Word of a king cannot be altered by anyone, not even the king. I
know from experience that this process works better than any kind of therapy or psychology!
King David in Psalm One wrote by the Holy Spirit: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the Law of the Lord, and
in His Law doth he Meditate day and night!” The Law is God’s precious Word. If we meditate in it day and night
we cannot think of the negative things that would cause us to want to hurt and harm others or ourselves. I can’t help
but think how different things would have been if Ricky had believed that simple but profound truth, as well as others who
suffered and are now suffering needlessly because they would rather live in bitterness and revenge than forgiveness and peace
of mind and heart.
Whatever someone had suffered, you cannot blame your present state of mind and depression or bitterness on anyone but your
own freewill that causes you to choose to think that way. Bitterness hate and revenge will not bring anyone happiness and
joy and peace of mind, only unhappiness, depression, death and destruction, because of the thought pattern one chooses to
follow. Proverbs says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”
As you think in your heart, that is what you will become like and there is no avoiding it.
So my best wishes go out to the young missionaries in The Family International who have chosen of their own free will to live
the life of a missionary on the field of their choice.
Link To This Article on My Conclusion com